I still wrestle with the stuff. Like a vicious Woody Allen, I constantly mull over thoughts and undermine myself and my actions. I have grown some. I don't throw it all away with such ease anymore. I'll still tell someone, "It's over." or "I'm done." or some other vaguely severing statement, only to turn back around and apologize and give myself more shit for being a crappy human being who doesn't appreciate the importance of other people's emotions enough to not toy with them. Honest to Buddah, it is not my intention. Demons, habit, sadness, anger...
I want to stand straight and focused again. The few fleeting times I can remember doing it hang dear in my mind. I do know what it feels like to not be all nerves, psychosis and insecurities... and to instead be right, real and proud of my current station in life, mind and body. I must keep on.
